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I don't know

I have a BIG HUGE dilemma (sp?)

I have a friend whom I used to date. When we broke up I decided to stay friends. He gave me the option of still talking, or just forgetting things all together. I made the choice. Which has been fine for the most part, we go out and have fun and do friend stuff. But it's always been a little weird ya know. We had a good relationship, but our friendship is really starting to feel like our relationship did, but without the intimacy. He has been (at least this is how I feel) trying to get closer. Wanting to come over a lot, calling me, texting me. And yesterday he was at Sears and he called me and said "hey, when I am done here I am stopping over." I said I was busy but yet he stopped over anyways, and ended up hanging out for like 4 hours. I had a shit ton of cookies to make for my parts store guys, and I was cleaning and just getting things done around the house.

Well now he wants me to go to the Eaton County Fair wednesday with him to watch some enduro cars. It would be fun, but I don't think I want to go. I think it's been like this the entire time, but I am really starting to notice now because I have been talking to other guys and moving on. How do I tell him that things need to be cut back? I don't want to lose his friendship, but I think that if I am to start dating someone else he probably won't want to be around. I mean, I know I wouldn't want to be around an ex of mine when his new girl is around. It's just weird. Oh, another big problem .... I invited him to go to Dianna's wedding with me. I already RSVP'd for 2, but I am not comfortable having him go with me. I know I'm probably just being crazy, but a wedding is an intimate affair and I don't know if I want to share that with him. WHAT DO I DO?

A close friend and I had a little heart to heart the other night and she said that I should just keep the original plans. At first I thought to myself, yes that is what I should do. But I have been sitting on this all weekend, and contemplating and then after yesterday's incident and this annoyance about going on wednesday I am thinking that it's not the right thing to do. I know that if I am to tell him that I am talking to a new guy, and that I don't think that he should come with me to the wedding, he is probably going to split. I was the one who decided to keep the friendship after we broke up. How am I supposed to tell him ... I am at a loss

November Rain

So it's been a long couple of weeks. I haven't posted about things going on because I wasn't ready to talk about them. I finally decided to suck it up, and do what I needed to do.

My grandma (dad's mom) was taken to the ER a couple of weeks ago because her leg was hurting. Well once she got in there and what not they had come to the conclusion that she had a stroke. This isn't the first time it's happened, but this had been the most serious. She's almost completely deaf (has been for as long as I can remember), but she does have hearing aid's, which help. And just within the last couple of years her sight has been going. So not only can she not hear us, but now she can't even see us.

She has been diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease (about a month or two ago) It wasn't really all that bad. They put her on medication and it seemed to be helping, but then once she had her stroke it just got about 100 times worse. She doesn't remember much of anything. She kind of remembers certain people, she'll repeat things that you say to her, she has had plenty of visitors and remembers them being there but doesn't remember who they were. I was scared to go see her. I thought to myself "I don't want to see my grandma like this." I hate knowing that she won't remember me being there, and she isn't going to remember who Mia is. I did go up and see her for the first time this last wednesday. She really didn't know who I was. It made me want to cry. She has this teddy bear that she holds on to all the time. It's kind of sad that she can't remember anything.

Ok, so this morning I'm running late (of course) and Josh is going to be meeting me at work to pick up Mia for the weekend. Well I get there, and Josh gets little Miss Mia ... and I get inside. My dad is on the phone with my Aunt Deb. She's at the hospital, had been since yesterday evening. She had a heart attack. The doctors went in this afternoon and checked her heart out and came to the conclusion that her heart wasn't too bad and that medicine would help as opposed to doing surgery. So of course now she has got to relax and chill out a bit. This just sucks. I think I am going to crawl in bed, listen to the rain hit the windows, watch a movie and probably fall asleep. 6:30 am comes early ..... work all day tomorrow, then more sleep

*update on car* she seems to be ok (this has been the highlight of my week) Took it back over to Shaheen, they did there diagnostic crap to it and came to the conclusion that the Service Engine Soon light was on because there was a wire that was knocked loose from the air pump from my accident (3 months ago) and that the brake light and ABS light was triggered by this. So my dad picks my car up and when he gets in it and starts it, the ABS and brake lights are still on. So we do our little diagnostic thing and something is up with the ABS module ... I'll worry about that later. I don't feel like dealing with it anymore .... grrrr

Ben knows me too well

1. Elaborate on your default icon.
Gwen Stefani ~ I love her, she's an awesome singer

2. What's your current relationship status?
Single :-(

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
I felt like I was dying the other day when I woke up from being put under ... it was a horrible experience.

4. Name an obvious quality you have.

5. Name an obscure quality you have.
oh hell I don't know

6. Name a celebrity you would marry:
Hmm ... probably none because I'm sure we'd be divorced in a year

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
well I don't have but 3 people on my friends list, so probably no one since Ben already did it

8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?

9. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
I can't stand things touching my wrist. Even if I wear long sleeve shirts I roll the sleeves up.

10. Do you have anything pierced?

11. Do you have any tattoos?
yeah, like 6 of them

12. Do you like pain?
I can tolerate it more so than most people

13. Do you like to shop?
for shoes :-) haha

14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
a hooker ... no wait, that would be lunch last wednesday

15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
gas in my car

16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
April G. ~ she's coming to cut my hair and give Mia her first hair cut this next saturday!

17. What is on your desktop background?
my desktop at home is a picture of Mia ... here at my mom's it's a pretty purple flower

18. What is the background on your cell phone?

19. Do you like redheads?
Not anymore than blonds or brunettes.

20. Do you know any twins?
I have some cousins who are twins, well like 2nd cousins I think

21. Do you have any weird relatives?
heh yeah a few

22. What was the last movie you watched?
As Good As It Gets

23. What was the last book you read?
James Patterson ~ Sam's Letters to Jennifer (I'm working on it right now, for the 3rd time, it's a good book)

Yah! I'm home!

I had to stay over night in the hospital because there was an unexpected turn during surgery. My gallbladder was 3 times the size it was supposed to be and it was basically infected, so they kept me to watch over me and give me anti-biotics. I've been up walking around and I am feeling pretty good. They put me on darvaset for pain and some amoxicillian for the anti-biotic. I am now at my parents house recovering for a few days. I have a drainage tube in my side still because of the over-sized gallbladder. That'll come out thursday when I go see the doctor.

So about my car ....I got it into the body shop friday morning (well my dad did) and by early afternoon they had a look at it and it's going to cost $3800 to fix it. The hood, the bumper, the right front fender, both headlights, fog lights, a/c condenser and a/c line, plus an alignment and the frame was bent and some bar thing under the hood. It's a good thing I have full coverage on my car ... I could kill that girl who did this though. I am so pissed.

Time for more drugs

If life doesn't suck enough already

So tomorrow I go in for surgery. I have to be at the hospital at 9:30 am and the surgery is at noon. I've never had to be put under before so this is all new for me and I'm a bit scared, but I know that everything will be ok. I just don't want to deal with the pain that comes after. However, I'll really enjoy the pain killers they give me ... woo hoo

anyways, the actual reason I'm even writing tonight is not because of my surgery but because some stupid bitch turned in front of me on my way to my parents house tonight after work and I hit her. My new car .... I was so pissed off I yelled at the women and asked her if she was really that fuckin stupid. We were driving on a one way street, and I was in the far left lane and she was in the lane next to me. Well she decided that she wanted to turn left at the light RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I was so ready to beat the hell out of her. LOL. Anyways, my car has probably about $2000 worth of damages ... I'll post some pics in a few days. GRRRRR!!!

Wish me luck for my surgery .... we call it drive-thru surgery .... I'm in and out in just a few hours ... haha

I'll be back around in a couple of days!


I am at work. I am bored. We are VERY slow today, as in it's just after noon and we have our second car of the day. I can't wait to take some time off from work. Oh, yeah I'm taking time off from work. 4 weeks, possibly 6 depending on how I recover. Recover from what you say, well I get to have surgery. Last monday I spent all day at Ingham Regional with intense stomach pain (which of course includes vomiting, but I'll spare the details). They loaded me up on good drugs, took my blood, did an ultrasound (which they wanted to check my pelvic region too because they somehow got the bright idea that I'm pregnant) and the let me sleep all day. After the blood work came back and the results from the ultrasound they discovered I needed to have my gallbladder removed. Funny part is, that's what I told them when I went in but you know how doctor's are. They just have to check things out for themselves.
So anyway, I go to the doctor's this next wednesday and we'll schedule a time for me to get the stupid thing removed. Until then I am on a strict diet of bland foods. So for breakfast I get toast, lunch I get crackers and for dinner I get mashed potatoes, or mac n' cheese if I prefer. HAHA. Nah, there is more that I can eat that just that, but not much. I need spices damnit, something with flavor. Someday I'll be able to eat again, until then ... Saltines are my best friend.

Bored at work

How to make a babysqueaks

1 part friendliness

1 part silliness

3 parts energy
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of emotion and a pinch of salt. Yum!

boredom, and lots of it

You will attain ultimate glory in ...

Drunken Curling
'In what rejected sport will you attain your greatest glory?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<td align="center"> As it turns out, April Seeley is aroused by ...

Jazz hands

'What crazy thing are you aroused by?' at QuizUniverse.com</td>

Recipe for Love
- 1/4 of a cup of kindness

- a dash of loyalty

- a scoop of beauty
Mix on high, and serve immediately.
'What is your recipe for love?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Thats all

Today I am really feeling lonely.

Found on someone elses journal .. haha

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now.  (A.B. and I wish he knew) I don't watch much TV these days. I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses. × I love to play video games(bleh) I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. × I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.  (more like all the time) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )